Monthly Archives: October 2011


Dungeons were becoming a frequent environment for our brave heroes. They couldn’t seem go five steps without stumbling upon some dank underground crypt filled with “Nosferatu”, or an ancient, haunted catacombs, relentlessly stalked by spectres and banshees. 

Visit Lovely: Skulheim

You might as well have called them the Dungeon Crawlers.

Every dungeon they had been in so far had a “gimmick”to it. They were wondering why the dungeon designers went to that much trouble:

“So, Phil, yeah, what should we do with this dungeon? I was thinking of a kind of  flooded theme, with some evil Mermaids and Oriental Water Dragons scattered here and there.”

“WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! You’re mixing water with ORIENTAL Water Dragons?  Didn’t you pay attention in Dungeon Designer School, Ted!? You never, EVER, mix two themes  together.”

“Oops, my bad! Thanks for the save, Phil. Now, what kind of loot should we put in the secret chest?”

Regardless, our heroes were becoming quite adept at this whole adventuring business. Nander Gruff had become perceptive enough to detect any secret passage or hidden chest he walked past, Delia could now heal almost any wound or affliction (including death) and N. Greyford had become a powerful Psychic, capable of both reading an enemy’s mind and turning it into scrambled eggs. However, there was something a tad more significant about this particular dungeon. It wasn’t just your generic, run-of-the-mill stone bunker, there was definitely something important down here. Perhaps it even had one of the Nine Tablets hidden in it…

As usual, Chuck was the first to break the silence, created by the frightening aura of the dungeon:

“Hall…of…Re-Flek-Shun… Damn idiots spelt reflection wrong, twice, once on the inscription at the start of this maze and wrong a second time on that tome we found.”

“Perhaps when the tome was created and the dungeon was built, that was the correct spelling of reflection”, said N. Greyford.


Suddenly, they had come across something that instilled fear in their hearts. Something, was very off with what they were looking at:

Huh? What's this? It looks like a mirror, but...

They took a few steps closer to it…


They gazed into the polished glass. It had  lovely gold embellishments and jewels embedded in the dark wood that framed it. The mirror had a thin coating of frost on it and was cold to touch. They knew what they had to do. They opened the tome they had acquired earlier, the Book of Reflekshun, and promptly began reading the arcane words that filled it.
Aww, Great!

Their blood ran cold…


Demons: Not Fun

They braced themselves for one hell of a fight… 


A salacious selection of seriously sick spells.

There are approximately 130 spells in Grimoire (as well as 12 Super Secret Eldritch Spells.) Here ‘s a few of the cooler ones.


Enables the party to walk across fire or lava. Lasts until party sets foot on dry land or the duration expires, equal to one step per power level.


This spell will blind all opponents who fail their saving throw, for a duration determined by the power level at which it’s cast.


A classic sorcerer’s spell that never misses, never backfires and against which there is no saving throw. Does 1D6 per power level.


A ball of ice materializes in the air, before exploding and sending ice shards everywhere. Deals 4d8 damages to monsters and has a chance to freeze.


Attempts to quick freeze up to 6 monsters at once. Creatures composed of water, crystal or glass will be killed instantly by this spell.


Creates a gravity field around the party that reduces fall damage. Effectiveness is determined by the power level at which it’s cast.


Creates a sound absorbing bubble around an enemy’s head, preventing them from making magical incantations.


Creates a blast of psychic energy which upsets the mental equilibrium of enemies and causes 1d6 damage per power level.


Opens a gateway to another plane of reality, which exerts a powerful pull on demonic and astral creatures. If they fail their saving throw, they will be sucked through the portal, banished.


A colossal spectral hand materializes out of thin air, smashing down on a single enemy doing 6d8 damage per power level. 


A powerful scintillianting rainbow appears above the heads of opponents, causing a host  of ill effects as well as dealing 3d6 per power level.


An apocalyptic maelstrom of seething barbed wire rips through the ranks of monsters, doing 10d8 per power level. Monsters may be immobilized by the wire even if they save against the damage.


This horrible spell conjures up an enchanted image of the moon which causes mass insanity in animals and werewolves who fail their saving throw versus hypno. Lycanthropes who see the illusion may become beholden to the spellcaster and begin to fight savagely amongst themselves.

Why I take a long time to create posts.

I’m sure a few of you would like me to create posts and upload screenshots more frequently. You are probably annoyed that it takes me two or three weeks on average to bring out fresh content.

So am I.

The main reason is that when I first attempted to install the Grimoire Beta on our awesome, pimped-out, ultrasmooth desktop super computer, it turned out that there was a graphics glitch, preventing Grimoire from running on a 64-bit device.

So dad set to work on fixing this trivial problem. I knew he would be able to fix, but it would take some time.

Well, I was disappointed. I thought I would have to postpone my personal beta test of the game, perhaps for several months.

Luckily, we had an old, 32-bit laptop that Grimoire would work on.

Unluckily, it was a piece of shit.

That’s what I’ve been doing the beta on this entire time.

Let me now explain how this laptop hampers my progress:

  • Crashes very, very frequently and for no apparent reason.
  • Has a stiff, unresponsive keyboard and touchpad.
  • Has such little RAM, it has trouble running more than one program at a time, crashes if you ask it to do more than two things at once, takes two minutes to load Grimoire (A 36mb program).
  • Whenever I try to take a screenshot, nine times out of ten, it will crash.

This computer, is the bane of my existence. I hate it with every cell in my body. I want to drop it into a woodchipper. I would like to drop it into the sun.

But I can’t, because, for the moment, it’s the only thing I can play Grimoire on.

But as soon as we fix that graphics glitch…

Into the sun…

You’re living on borrowed time, you hunk o’ junk.