Monthly Archives: August 2011
Here at GrimCorp, we’ve been working very hard, to come up with an interesting variety of untimely deaths for you to enjoy. Our aim is to keep you, the consumer, dead, because we know that dead customers are satisfied customers.
Browse through our latest catalogue!
It’s Simple, Cheap and it gets the job done. We get our professional executioner, Randy, to beat you in the head with a hammer repeatedly until the desired result is achieved.
Want to see your life flash before your eyes as you die? No Problem! It’s a little more expensive than CLASSIC, but it’s well worth it. We strap high-quality lead blocks to your feet, and throw you in head first. We guarantee you’ll reach the bottom in less than ten seconds, or your money back!
We give you a magic ring which you’ll become obsessed with, and then we seize it from you. Later, we’ll give it back to you while you’re standing near the edge of a dangerous cliff. While you dance like a jack-ass at receiving your precious ring, you slip like a retard into the lava pit. Expensive, but it’s a hell of a way to go!
We get our executioner, Randy, to dropkick you over a cliff. If you somehow survive, there is a Reptile-like creature at the bottom who will finish you off.
If all of these deaths weren’t enough for your tastes, we have this! Using our Killa-Ma-Jig 9000, we teleport you into solid rock, causing instant death! It’s very expensive, but you won’t care, because you’ll be dead!
This was the 2011 Death Catalogue from GrimCorp. We hope we informed you on the many exciting demises waiting for you. When in doubt, remember our motto:
There are new screenshots in the Gallery section!
They were running out of time…
They knew they only had a few months left to find that stupid clock…
…And they hadn’t even found the first tablet.
They had wandered their way through the Briarpatch Woods, Rowed their boat through Aquavia, hurried through The Village of Crowl, Fought their way past the beasts that resided in the Gardens of Midknight, Squashed Hobnob the Spider, Slain the Black Lich (Who wasn’t nearly as tough as the legends made him out to be), failed to find a way across the Samhain Gorge, Opened the passage in the tomb of Saint George, Trudged their way through The Eyrie, Stolen the Wizard of Worfair’s Treasure from his floating sky ship…
…and had come into possession of a bizarre, Cosmic Egg…
And that was the short version…
They had backtracked back to an abandoned, but safe building in Crowl, to discuss their situation. They were trying to find something, some small clue they missed…
N and X Greyford were pacing around the room.
The crew was getting restless…
“Nander Gruff is hungry… do we have any Elysium Berries left?”
“Why the hell are we carrying this “egg” around?” Proclaimed Chuck, examining the weird oval-shaped oddity.
N. Greyford groaned. “I don’t know… I saw a carving of an egg in the Temple Catacombs… maybe we’ll need it.”
“Look”, interjected Cleve. “I say we go back to the Urluk Mining Company, and try to find a way across Samhain Gorge.”
The image of that terrible abyss flashed briefly through everyone’s eyes…
“Nander Gruff thinks we should fry up that cosmic egg and make a omlette… maybe, if we do, a magic chicken will come out and tell us what to do… and then we can also fry up the magic chicken…”
“Maybe we should talk to Captain Krone?” said Delia.
“We’ve already asked him everything we could think of”, said Cleve. “I suppose we could use a “Mindread” spell on him, but what would we learn from that?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have killed that Mordecai guy…”.said Mariel.
“He was a shifty fellow… I could tell he was a conspirator against us… I’ll bet, that if we didn’t kill him, he would have tried to take a tablet from us when we found it.”
“Captain Krone was fuming when he heard we’d done that… good thing we bribed him before he called his guards.”
“We still haven’t figured out how to open the Chronoworks”, said X. Greyford. “It was found along with the enigma well, so it’s definitely relevant to our mission… but there were six different objects on it… that’s at least 500 possible combinations.”
“Wait!” said Nander Gruff. “Nander Gruff recalls reading a religious message of the Winged Exemplar… it sounded like generic moral advice for how one should live their life… but, after pondering the message, he realises it had a concealed code!”
“What are you talking about, Wolfin?” said Chuck.
“Nander Gruff understands now that the innocuous-looking religious verse was really a code on how to open the Chronoworks Box.”
They all shouted simultaneously:
“Nander, you magnificent bastard!”
A friend of mine searched Grimoire on IGN.com, and found this:
I was quite baffled when I saw it… I don’t know where they got the box art from…
It’s not major news or anything, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Grimoire in the IGN archives.
Peoples from IGNz, I can haz give you screenshots and info on Grimoirez if you want itz.
Ahem, sorry about that, I became retarded for a few seconds.
Cleve’s Devious Plan:
1. Finish Grimoire
Had you there for a minute, didn’t I?
Lol, Trolled you so hard.
Nah, The Grim Blog isn’t dead.
But, it was extremely taxing to upload every single experience I was having in the beta. So, I won’t be uploading posts and pics as frequently as I did beforehand. I think, from now on, I’m mostly going to upload screenshots, because they’re much, much easier than writing out a whole discriptive paragraph.
It hasn’t even been a whole week since I started…
I don’t really want to explain why, but it would be unfair to certain people if I didn’t.
Of all the feedback this blog has received so far, I’d say about 97% of it is negative. Really, really mean, negative comments.
I sincerely thank the small group of people who liked this blog and gave support to it. Reading your comments made my day.
Unfortunately, everyone besides you hates Grimoire and anything associated with Grimoire.
They’ve said awful things about it. But don’t take my word for it: see for yourself.
You wouldn’t believe some of the comments I’ve received. I refuse to even allow such vile comments on my site, so I deleted them.
And, I’m going to stop doing this blog.
It’s very discouraging when you work hard on something, that not even really for your benefit, and you receive such hateful remarks.
Once again, I thank the small handful of people who liked this blog and showed support for it. But I can’t continue it just for you guys.
Maybe, every now and then, I’ll put up new pics or a new post, but, much like the “Metronome Mysterium”, the mainspring of this blog has ground to a halt, and now all that’s left is darkness and oblivion.
-Grim Darkly / Cooper Blakemore
Our heroes returned to the surface, after defeating Shiva-Han-Goromu, and obtaining a mysterious crest he had been guarding.
They were discussing the unfortunate demise of their friend, The Beholder.
“I don’t understand”, said Mariel. “Why doesn’t the Caduceus of Life works on Aeorbs?”
“Because, they have a different biological make-up to normal creatures”, said Cleve. “We’ll need a “Raise Dead” spell to revive her.”
“Where can we obtain that? Can we find it in scroll form?” asked N. Greyford.
“It isn’t just about learning that spell or obtaining a scroll of it. It’s a very advanced piece of magic that requires a very advanced Necromancer to use correctly.”
Everyone looked at Cleve.
“If I learn that spell, you guys will be the first to know.”
After wandering through the thick, overgrown Briarpatch Woods for several hours, our heroes saw civilisation on the horizon.
They wandered into the village, which seemed deserted.
A small wooden sign on the wall said “Village of Crowl”.
Sinister layers of fog covered the ground… something was very off in this town.
A devious, black-garbed troublemaker approached our protagonists.
The gigantic golem stood before them…
Before it could do anything, Chuck flew at it with a roundhouse kick.
To no avail…
The statue retaliated with a “Leaping Sparks” spell, burning the eyebrows off of Chuck.
Not wasting another second, the heroes bombarded the foul creature with spells and blows.
The statue didn’t even flinch…
It was clear that their attacks were having no effect, but there must have been someway to combat the beast.
The Beholder, realising what she must do, took the Canopic Jar that N. Greyford had taken earlier, and threw it at the golem.
Hanging in the air for a split second, before smashing into the golem’s face, creating for a brief moment, a mist of blood and dirty decay.
The golem was wracked with pain and damage, and after a few more hits from the heroes, it collapsed into a pile of dust.
Sic Semper Tyrannis!
Despite the satisfying victory, the heroes felt something wrong…
“Nander Gruff will do a headcount! Nander, Mariel, Cleve, Delia, Chuck, N, X and… oh…no…”
The Beholder had fallen… the beast must have got in a lucky hit before bring destroyed.
The Caduceus of Life they had found before was useless: Aeorbs did not possess the same life-force as other races.
They would have to find some other powerful magic to revive her.
Although they had only known her briefly, the heroes were distraught at the loss of their guide and friend.
They gathered the treasure the golem had been defending, a measly crest.
They hoped that it was worth the loss of their friend.
They took her body with them. If she couldn’t be resurrected, the least they could do was bury her.
So, you know how the previous post said I won’t be able to upload screenshots? Dad showed me an ancient Neanderthal technique to upload crude screenshots, and it worked! You can see screenshots in the new Gallery section.
I thought I should show you guys some actual screen shots of the game.
This video was not uploaded by me.
Sorry if the game isn’t what you expected.
Hey! I know what you’re thinking! You think this game has crappy graphics!
Well, people always said Minecraft had crappy graphics, and look at what an amazing game that turned out to be.
Sorry I can’t give you guys screenshots relative to my play through, but Grimoire isn’t as user-friendly as most games nowadays. I can’t just press the f12 button to take a photo.