Monthly Archives: April 2012
After having sailed across the sea…
…fought their way through the Bahomet Megalith…
…and ascended BlackSpike Mountain, our heroes…
…had finally arrived at the Lair of the White Owl!
“Have you guys noticed our food bars never go down?”
“So, that’s what that bar is! I thought “FOO” was some kind of super attack bar.” Exclaimed Chuck.
“This isn’t Street Fighter, Chuck.” Said Nander Gruff. “We don’t have any of that faggotry in this game!”
“Quiet! We’re finally here!”
“He has a giant statue of himself on his fortress… not very humble.”
“Greetings, Winged Exemplar!” They all shouted, in perfect unison.
“You have traveled very far, overcoming many trials and traps I had left for you. You are indeed the ones who will save us.”
“Please”, started The Beholder. “Help us.”
“Of course, I’ve created four magic relics to give you AIDS… sorry, aid you, on your quest.”
He shows them a cube, a cone, a pyramid and a sphere.
“You may only choose one. Choose wisely, Heralds.”
Of course, the Heralds found an enormous bug, allowing them to take all four relics, multiple times. They even went so far as to sell the excess relics back to The Winged Exemplar for profit.
“You’ve chosen, wisely. That ONE relic you took will aid you greatly. To continue your quest, you’ll have to descend into the bowels of BlackSpike fighting your way through the N-Space Grid to the room that contains the clock, the Metronome Mysterium. You’ll then have to wind it. Then, assuming nothing goes wrong (and something always goes wrong) everything will be right again.
Without saying another word, our heroes bowed to The Winged Exemplar and departed. As they left, the owl said one last thing to them.
“Adventurers, while you’re out, can you get me a quart of milk and a pack of jelly beans?”