Greatest Thread Of All Time Gets More Great-i-er

RPG Codex’s Legendary “Why did Sir-tech go bankrupt?” thread has reached levels of sheer awesome-ness so high, that it has begun to create a temporal disturbance in Mexico, causing many residents to drop their Tacos and spill their Tequila.

The thread, which delves deep into the reason that the Wizardry developers went bankrupt, mutated into something bizarre and wonderful.

For many years, there has existed an anti-Cleve crowd on the internet. Much of the things he has said have been ignored or rejected, as evidenced in a typical snapshot from Cleve’s day:

“For twenty years the Neanderthal vagrant had wandered the internetz, attempting to tell others of the horrors of the Stones of Arnhem project, but none had listened to his retarded ramblings. Idly shuffling about from forum to forum, tapping plaintively at the glass and trying to tell them in the simplest language of his fantastic ordeal but none had believed.

Cleve : “Pleeze peeple, listen to me. They stripped me of my human dignity … I was forced to crawl through waist deep piles of dildos and ass pounding devices while their teenage blowjob slaves hurled invective at me … then … then I was made to animate pornographic gay imagery for the monsters … it was horrible … why doesn’t anybody believe me? It was horrible, I was permanently traumatized by my experiences, pleeze peeple …”

Forum Regular : “Oh, look, it’s that Neanderthal retard again. Can someone close the blinds? He is ranting again about some insane drivel, I can’t even understand what he is talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love these Neanderthals, I think everybody should own several. I for one remember fondly the day these people worked as manservants and had the dignity of real jobs. Look at what they have been reduced to today.”

Cleve : “No, wait, you don’t believe me peeplez, it’s all true. Why can’t anybody believe me? Then … then … they forced me to sort pictures of lesbians and gay men into character portraits … I don’t know why peeplez won’t listen …”

Forum Regular : “It is obvious the poor retard’s condition is deteriorating over time. These outlandish tales of his homoerotic Wizardry 8 project and whatnot, it is clearly the product of a disordered mind. Where is security staff?

Cleve : “No, pleeze, I’m serious, this all really happened, I just can’t explain it all right …” (Security guards appear and guide him away from forum window, directing him to shuffle towards nearest special needs bus stop.)”

Sad, sad stuff. Poor Neanderthal.

If you’ve never read the thread, you can find a link to it here. Pages 39-49 cover the most recent occurence, the arrival of proof to most of Cleve’s insane, but apparently true ramblings:

Be warned, this thread has quite explicit content and should not be seen by those with weak stomachs. It’s amazing and is definitely worth seeing, but view at your own risk.

Fantastic things were meant to happen near the end. Agreed, truth is stranger than fiction.

P.S. Last time I checked the thread, there was no image of the Mythical Penisaur. There was Sphincter-saurus, a multi-dicked lizardine, but Penisaurus has not yet been seen. It’s just as well: that image posted on the internetz might just mark the beginning of the end!



About grimdarkly

Name's Cooper. I'm an Advertising student, and I'm also a devout Christian that despises dishonesty. See the cognitive dissonance? I enjoy placing words in interesting formations. If not an advertising copywriter, I am certain I will find another word-based career. I enjoy playing DOTA 2, doing Christian stuff, not exercising, and designing adventures for my friends as a D&D Dungeon Master. Evidently, I'm also good at quickly coming up with "raps". Quality of said raps is debatable.

Posted on November 13, 2012, in Announcements and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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