Grimoire Demo: El Grande Edition

This is by far the smoothest version of the demo. Zero crashes on my 64-bit machine or dad’s (Cleve’s) 32-bit machine.

http://www.filedropper.com/grimoiredemov131

Demo contains the Briarpatch Woods, Shrine of the Raptor and Aquavia, the first dungeon in the game.

The amount of content in the demo is only about 0.50% of the actual game’s size.

Grimoire Public Test Demo Avaliable Now

Get it here:

http://www.filedropper.com/grimdemoinstallerv11

Yes, we know its buggy. Find RPG Codex thread below. Lot’s of good support in that thread for getting the demo to run smoother and crash less:

http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/grimoire-demo-availabe.75724/page-94

Some people have said it runs better if you launch it as an admin.

 

 

64-Bit Bug Finally Solved!

For those of you who don’t understand what that means, let me explain the problems this (bastard) bug has caused:

1. Interruption of my personal Grimoire beta-test by over a year

2. Countless hours wasted in an attempt to fix said bug (Hours that could have been spent polishing the game)

3.  Single-handedly delaying the release of the Grimoire demo by weeks (Sorry guys… but hey, now that the bug’s fixed, the demo should be right around the corner)

4. General madness in Cleve

Basically, bros… bad bug was squished.

Although the bug has driven to Cleve to rabid insanity, frothing at the mouth and what-not (He’s now kept in the dark, dank dungeon, where he’s fed scraps of raw meat and forced to work on Grimoire all day) Cleve was not the conqueror of the bug. That honor goes to Shams.

Ahem, allow me to change my allegiance.

SHAMS REIGNS SUPREME! ALL HAIL SHAMS!

Grimoire – Demo Pre-Release Teaser

ITZ COMING.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veLbNuKeCwk&feature=em-uploademail

Its even more epic with headphones.

(WARNING: GOLDEN ERA GAMES TAKES NO RESPONSIBILTY FOR THE INJURIES THAT MAY OCCUR WHILE WATCHING THIS VIDEO. MASSIVE INCLINE HAS BEEN KNOWN TO RUPTURE THE EARBALLS OF WEAK-MINDED SPECTATORS. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.)

The Grim Blog – 2012 Mission Report

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 20,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 5 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

Greatest Thread Of All Time Gets More Great-i-er

RPG Codex’s Legendary “Why did Sir-tech go bankrupt?” thread has reached levels of sheer awesome-ness so high, that it has begun to create a temporal disturbance in Mexico, causing many residents to drop their Tacos and spill their Tequila.

The thread, which delves deep into the reason that the Wizardry developers went bankrupt, mutated into something bizarre and wonderful.

For many years, there has existed an anti-Cleve crowd on the internet. Much of the things he has said have been ignored or rejected, as evidenced in a typical snapshot from Cleve’s day:

“For twenty years the Neanderthal vagrant had wandered the internetz, attempting to tell others of the horrors of the Stones of Arnhem project, but none had listened to his retarded ramblings. Idly shuffling about from forum to forum, tapping plaintively at the glass and trying to tell them in the simplest language of his fantastic ordeal but none had believed.

Cleve : “Pleeze peeple, listen to me. They stripped me of my human dignity … I was forced to crawl through waist deep piles of dildos and ass pounding devices while their teenage blowjob slaves hurled invective at me … then … then I was made to animate pornographic gay imagery for the monsters … it was horrible … why doesn’t anybody believe me? It was horrible, I was permanently traumatized by my experiences, pleeze peeple …”

Forum Regular : “Oh, look, it’s that Neanderthal retard again. Can someone close the blinds? He is ranting again about some insane drivel, I can’t even understand what he is talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I love these Neanderthals, I think everybody should own several. I for one remember fondly the day these people worked as manservants and had the dignity of real jobs. Look at what they have been reduced to today.”

Cleve : “No, wait, you don’t believe me peeplez, it’s all true. Why can’t anybody believe me? Then … then … they forced me to sort pictures of lesbians and gay men into character portraits … I don’t know why peeplez won’t listen …”

Forum Regular : “It is obvious the poor retard’s condition is deteriorating over time. These outlandish tales of his homoerotic Wizardry 8 project and whatnot, it is clearly the product of a disordered mind. Where is security staff?

Cleve : “No, pleeze, I’m serious, this all really happened, I just can’t explain it all right …” (Security guards appear and guide him away from forum window, directing him to shuffle towards nearest special needs bus stop.)”

Sad, sad stuff. Poor Neanderthal.

If you’ve never read the thread, you can find a link to it here. Pages 39-49 cover the most recent occurence, the arrival of proof to most of Cleve’s insane, but apparently true ramblings:

http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/why-did-sir-tech-go-bankrupt-ebay-auction-now-live-witness-history.53695/

Be warned, this thread has quite explicit content and should not be seen by those with weak stomachs. It’s amazing and is definitely worth seeing, but view at your own risk.

Fantastic things were meant to happen near the end. Agreed, truth is stranger than fiction.

P.S. Last time I checked the thread, there was no image of the Mythical Penisaur. There was Sphincter-saurus, a multi-dicked lizardine, but Penisaurus has not yet been seen. It’s just as well: that image posted on the internetz might just mark the beginning of the end!

END TRANSMISSION!

Shams Upgrades Grimoire To Look Like Crysis

I’m still bedazzled by what I just saw!

Quite honestly, the most incredible feat of programming I’ve ever seen! Grimoire already had fantastic Art assets, now the game looks like Grimrock! (Arguably, even better!)!!!!

Alright, now that I’ve calmed down a bit, let me start from the beginning.

As we promised, we’ve been hard at work at updating the resolution for Grimoire. The game does look a bit better with a larger screen size and viewport, but it’s not a mind-blowing change.

But Shams, who speaks with actions, not words, has shown his technical prowess by upgrading the rendering of the environment.

Wow!

Just Wow!

I’m not sure exactly what he did, as I have minimal programming experience (Does SmallBasic count?), but whatever he did, he made the game look amazing. I’m talking Xbox popamole graphics here. Makes Heavy Rain look like Pac-man.

Anyone who has ever complained about any aspect of Grimoire’s visuals is about to choke on their sandwich.

I’m sure Cleve will put up footage of the upgrades soon. It will blow you away when you see it.

Cleve Considering (Keyword Here) Releasing A Small Grimoire Demo

Title says it all.

Cleve is putting several counter-measures in place to prevent hacking of the full game, such as lightless voids, swallowing anyone into oblivion who tries to leave the demo areas.

Thank You For Your Support!

Firstly, I’d like to thank the people who have supported Grimoire, either through the Indiegogo Campaign, through encouragement, or both. Some of the big thanks go to: Mother Russia, I_am_Ian, Mastermind, Phelot, thesoup,  Derper, cboyardee, Marquis de Retardot, Dashi DMV, DarKPenguiN, whoever made the Terry Crews gif. on this page http://www.rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/you-will-believe-a-golden-baby-can-fly-grimoire-on-indiegogo.76939/page-2 and anyone else I missed!

Give yourselves a pat on the back!

Grimoire Eliminates Another Rival

Already weakened as its deadline drew to a close, Cleve Blakemore and his Codexian Army heroically finished Shaker with a skull-crushing blow to the cranium: discouraging comments.

Leading the frontline charge, Cleve unloaded a truth bomb on the Shaker project, revealing to people the mess of self contradictions in the past of Brenda Brathwaite.

The Codexians, although mainly trannies, are quite resourceful. It seems they used their tranny abilities to pose as women and advocate Grimoire with false accounts. The historical role of gender bender geisha assassins comes to mind.

Once again, Grimoire emerges triumphant.

Addendum: Almost everything that was stated by Cleve in the Shaker comments is public information (Interviews etc). Much of it was stated by Brenda herself and has simply been repeated by Cleve.

There is some evidence implying that their Kickstarter was launched purely for monetary purposes. However, if they really intended to make a fun, old-skool RPG, then both Brenda and Tom have my best wishes.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 35 other followers